Right here, right now

Skrivet den 2013-03-26 kl 04:17:32 i kategorin LIVET av Jenira

So I wanted to share something with you guys, well some of you have followed my journey here in the US and know that its been a rollercoaster and maybe some people would have adjusted to a different county better than I have and some people would have agreed with me.

I def. missed home a lot and struggled but one of my new years resolution this year was to be happy and live an easy and not so complicated life.  And until now I feel like I didn’t accomplish it.


This past weekend has been very eventful but I also realized something. One of my friends shared some very happy news with me and I have also met a few new friends that had me thinking. I woke up on Sunday morning and finally finally realized something. I THINK I GOT IT, I THINK I KNOW WHAT MY problem is.


For a while, I have been feeling that something is missing in my life, but I could not really point it out. Was it family? Career or what was it? Why could I not feel completely happy and this weekend (even if it sounds silly) it finally hit me, something my husband and cousin was telling me for 2 years but I didn’t listen.

The reason I am bringing this up now, is because my 2 years anniversary of living here is coming up and It took me that long to figure it out. My problem is, my whole life I have been trying to fit in with everyone and at some point in my life I think I finally felt like I had my career and stuff and then I made the decision to move here and start over and any fool can tell you that’s not easy. BUT, my problem is, for two years I have been chasing and comparing myself with everyone. I have built a network and I have finally found people that I love and can relate to. But I have also realized that all these people somehow made me cry, not because they are bad people, not at all, probably the opposite.

No, they made me cry, because I wanted to be like them. I wanted their career, I wanted their houses and other stuff, I wanted to travel like them, I wanted to be at the same place as everyone else. Well, you are thinking, that’s nothing new. I know! But, that’s not the point. My point is, for two years I have been chasing everything and comparing with everyone, that I have not stopped to think what I actually have experienced and accomplished.  I HAVE finally realized, that this is not going to work; I need to stop and open my eyes. I am turning 30 this year and the 20s was amazing. But if I don’t stop and look around I am going to wake up when I am 60 and by that time, maybe I am successful and I have my dream job and dream family and dream house, BUT AT THAT POINT I AM 60 YEARS OLD. Since I always plan for future success, I will miss enjoying what I have now. When it comes to career or body or friends, or house or whatever, I am always looking around me but not looking inside me.

Confused, I don’t blame you. I have been confused for 2 years and I don’t expect you to understand, but just lets say: I get it. Let me say it like this. If our lives are a book and each chapter is a part of our lives, and you know at the end of the book there is always a summery. Well, I will have my summery, I will have my job and my kids (if I live a healthy life of course) my house and all that, and it will be there in my book like most people, but I WONT HAVE IT at the same time as everyone else. Lets say X person is earning amazing amount of money and I will to, just maybe 2 years after her, and THAT’S OK. When I am 60 and look back on my life, I wont care if I got the dream house at age 30 or 32, but if I don’t open my eyes now I am going to stand there at 60 and realize I was always running and chasing something better, rather than stopping and looking around what assets I have  and what I can do with it RIGHT NOW.

You must be bored and maybe you stopped reading, but lets just say yesterday was a good day and I have decided to start enjoying and stop complaining and think about all the things I am going to do this year. I have always hated the word patience and yesterday I realized that it’s not such a bad word. Taking one day at the time and enjoying it, doesn’t have to be so bad. I don’t want to rush though my life, I want to live and learn and experience and enjoy every moment.  If we work hard, we will get the reward we want in life, and yes we wont get everything, some people will always be luckier than others and have bigger assets than others, but if we can’t find that inner happiness, nothing really matters. It’s not just about what you have, and what she/he has, it’s about what we are doing right now to make everyday a day to remember. Life goes by fast, Monday and poff its Friday, and then Monday again and then its Friday. Like my dad said: DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE IT COMES FAST ENOUGH.

Right here, right now….that’s my new view of life. 


En sak som också sker när man jämför sig med andra är att man helt enkelt skapar en ideal-person som inte existerar, man samlar alla bra saker med alla i ens omgivning, typ hon tjänar bra pengar, hon reser mycket, hon har assnygg häck, han har ett fint hus, de gör massa roliga saker och vips så får man för sig att alla i ens omgivning bor fint, har modellkroppar, reser jämt osv trots att det inte är så eftersom att man helt enkelt tar det bästa av alla! Du är så bra som du är! PUSS

2013-03-28 @ 11:11:43