Time to come out

Skrivet den 2012-11-15 kl 19:39:02 i kategorin LIVET av Jenira
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So I have been hiding something from you for a while and I think its time to come out with it. So some of my friends already know about this and some don’t, but the truth is that I no longer work at my previous job as an accountant. I decided to leave that place and I will not share any comments about the employer what so ever, the decision has nothing to do with the company. However, the reason I decided to leave was very personal and I felt being miserable was not an option. I have been embarrassed to share this news cause I didn’t want to be matched up as a failure.

It was one of the hardest decisions I have made in my life and many tears were shared. Nobody wants to feel like a failure and that was what I felt like for the longest time. Sometimes, we can’t just adjust to everything. Moving to US was a big adjustment for me and that felt easy comparing to getting adjusted to this job. However, I decided that my happiness was more important then anything in this world and trust me, many times I went through all the facts over and over.

Am I stupid?

How hard was it to get a job?

Do I want to go back being a housewife again?

Well that and many many more questions went trough my head and then I decided that I was going to do what I thought was best for me and that’s something I rarely do.

Growing up most of my decisions were made by my parents and their beliefs and what was best for everyone else. Well, even though people may think I am crazy I did a decision I thought could make me happy in the long term.

So yes, I am back where I started a few months ago and looking back on these 1,5 years I can get confused with myself, what exactly have I accomplished? I am 29 years old and I am not sure if I have had a great career yet. When I was younger I for sure though I would be more established by now. But who knows, maybe when I am 50 years old I will look back and see someone who did something great and worried a lot of thing for nothing. You never know where you are going to end up at what age, I guess. Not everyone has his or her life made like the typical human success book (graduated by a certain age, married by an certain age, successful at 26 and kids by 30 etc).

I think my decision made me realize that I need to live for this moment right now, so everyday I try to be happy and do my best to find a job that I think I will like. That’s all I want, to wake up in the morning and go to work and be happy. Is that so wrong? Maybe I wont be the most successful person that I have always dreamt to be, or maybe I will. I don’t know, but I do know what I have and that’s an amazing supportive husband and old and new amazing friends.  I live in a nice cozy house and am blessed to be in a position in my life where I can look for a job at home. The holidays are coming up and everything will be just fine....wherever I end up. 


Kommentarer
Nippsan

Jag tycker du är GRYM som tog det beslutet! Allt man gör i livet ska handla om att man ska vara lycklig och det är aldrig målet, utan vägen som är det viktigaste. Om karriär är något som är viktigt för dig så ska du satsa på det, men du måste vara lycklig på vägen, för du kommer aldrig bli bäst på det du gör om du inte älskar det!!

Puss

Svar: Nippsan, tack för de snälla orden. Speciellt från någon som du som alltid är på topp. Du är fantastiskt duktig och jag ser en ljus framtid för dig :) men tack så mycket, det betyder mkt för mig!
Jenira

2012-11-15 @ 20:40:36
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